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Swimming In My Car // Good Luck, Bad Decisions

by The Formaldehide

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1.
Good Luck, Bad Decisions 03:30
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Good luck Bad decisions, bad decisions Good luck Bad decisions, put the phone down babe Good luck Put the phone down babe Good luck Put the phone down babe I'm still alive But I'm distracted effortlessly I'm blessed with luck my friend Four leaves of squandered green It's a wonder how I've managed to stay alive this long A series of left turns, plans gone wrong It has been my privilege to waste it I've gotta fuck it up so I don't get complacent I just go out and leave my honor displaced I don't care, I don't want to escape my fate To the brink of my recklessness I'm rescued by luck alone To the brink of my hopelessness Rescued by luck alone At least I feel no guilt When my decisions wilt Your will forces me to survive I'm lucky to be alive Designed to ruin my own life You'll admire me, until you won't anymore I serve but don't protect, I will leave you bereft You'll desire me, until you don't cause I'm more Than you deserve evened out with neglect Distracted and damned by cursed decisions (Bad decisions, bad decisions) I made without a shred of regret (Bad decisions, put the phone down babe) When will Hermes comes to collect me (Bad decisions, bad decisions) When will my luck surrender to debt (Bad decisions, put the phone down babe) To the brink of my recklessness I'm rescued by luck alone To the brink of my hopelessness Rescued by luck alone At least I feel no guilt When my decisions wilt Your will forces me to survive I'm lucky to be alive During the great solar eclipse I'm rescued by luck alone At the bottom of the abyss Rescued by luck alone At least I feel no guilt When my decisions wilt Your will forces me to survive I'm lucky to be alive Last week I almost died at MD 185 Cus I feel asleep at Rock Creek curve the car still in drive Today the truck missed me flying down US 33 Next week I might not be so lucky
2.
Mid-Atlantic Storms & Mind Doors 04:20
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Good Afternoon I have become immune to heartbreak The excitement in the air whispered to me that nothing can go wrong Well I'll take the time to categorize every mistake And spill my guts right into every single song You've been attached like chandeliers hang on our ceilings We're so in sync that we just busted all the backstreets At 98 degreez our pulses. have gone body thieving Have a nice Fightstar the Horizon brought to me Truth does not reside in halls Fickle hearts will rise and fall Well hey, I've got a game we can play It's the one where we fall in love and never speak again It could be so grand, we could both hands and walk In different directions I can tell that you love me by the way you pretend I don't exist online This is great, we'll be fine, it's a sign, it's a sign, it's a sign, it's a sign There's no truth inside this hall Fickle hearts will writhe and fall No one knows what they're doing at all Oh, it's so clear now Oh, its all here now The hummingbirds and the bumblebees are both caught in traffic on the ICC Oh, its so clear now Oh, I can hear now Puffy eyes and scratched up legs Symptoms of every day (I'm sick every morning, I think I'm allergic to waking up) I have been falling into the sea Atlantic storms are drowning you and me Our (brave) skulls are filled with many doors Enter one and be lost for evermore I have been falling into the sea Atlantic storms are drowning you and me Our (brave) skulls are filled with many doors Enter one and be lost for evermore Do you know her, do you know her, do you know her I do not Can you see her, can you see her, can you see her She's not there Do you know him, do you know him, do you know him I've never heard of Can you see him, can you see him, can you see him He's not real
3.
Vanity Kills at Gender Sale Sails 01:56
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I sail across gender sea I'm free from all adversity The question floats in front of me Which land will I reside The misters settle down in Rome The misses made a lovely home I'd rather splash along the foam I won't be made to decide Oh lovely, I'm familiar and yet so estranged Help me to appear noble, common, and mildly deranged No delusional form of illusion Simply a demonstrational skill I'll tease your confusion just for the thrill Will you become one of my vanity kills I'm the leader of the cult I'm the childless adult Tell my people to tell your people I'm the only one that's evil We all know the destination There is no apparent route How can I be the baddest bitch When my hair keeps falling out Console, keep control Stay the course, don't let go This role is your own Do not fear the unknown It's an unconventional zone Breaking molds from traditional homes Console, keep control Remember that you are not alone I sail across gender sea I'm free from all adversity The question floats in front of me Which land will I reside The misters settle down in Rome The misses made a lovely home I'd rather splash along the foam I won't be made to decide
4.
DE 404 (It's Far Too Late To Turn Around) 03:48
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We're gonna try to escape without trying On a private jet we can't stop flying You'll never make it out to sea If I convince the climate to marry me Home of the brave, land of the free To be exploited and sold as property On a game board monopoly My piece is made of mahogany I will endeavor to make a stand To be the first realtor in the land To sell premium climate insurance plans Never be another scheme quite this grand again The mid-atlantic summer will be nine months long And by June and July, everybody will have gone Further north up the hudson to pretend to speak French for several months Old Ellicott City will flood again For the fourth time this summer, and we will demand our congressmen send more mirrors to the stratosphere to block out the sun We're gonna try to escape without trying On a private jet we can't stop flying You'll never make it out to sea If I convince the climate to marry me Don't speak its not on the policy Built to last three more democracies It's gonna kill you but it won't touch me Cause I live above the food bank Pressure is rising, buildings are climbing Stories are ribcaged and ever defining If I ask for one thing it's always the funding That takes me away from the mess we have made Theres a new bridge over the neighborhood now It's far too late to turn around I'm not from the future, you're from the past We're gonna try to escape without trying On a private jet we can't stop flying You'll never make it out to sea If I convince the climate to marry me Don't speak its not on the policy Built to last three more democracies It's gonna kill you but it won't touch me Cause I live above the food bank This is the hottest new opportunity I'm going to liquidate your topography Waterfront margin hegemony Environmental injustice impunity
5.
Swimming In My Car 04:46
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Swallowed by wails of by failures I've earned this Surrounded by your whaling sailors I'll learn it This is my last chance, my last chance to pull through Swimming in my car cause there's nothing left to lose Jump off the bridge, jump off the bridge Say that it's time and I'll jump off the bridge Jump off the bridge, jump off the bridge Say that it's time and I'll jump off the bridge One day if I could do anything I wanted to Without harming those I love I'd drive right into the Potomac interview And let water flow above I would swim Anacostia to Patuxent And emerge wholly alive in the fall Cause the land in summer time is so tedious I become responsible for it all At the bottom of Chesapeake sound What secrets have yet to be found Or drowned At the bottom of Chesapeake sound What secrets have yet to be found Could you drive in peripheral vision For the rest of your life (Arrested by night, distracted by might) Could you lie in bed dreaming new conditions While it falls into strife (Arrested by night, distracted by might) And nothing feels right Cause nothing is light Superflous suspicion cuts like a knife I'm begging you not to end my life Breathe despair Hope to disappear This is the bottom The nadir Are aspirations still yours Do expectations endure When you're at the mercy of those who want you to break How does your bravery land And can you faithfully withstand The collapse left in your best friend's wake Feels like dying, and I swear its not from within me this time You tried to kill me the world left me barely alive All that we built left the crumble by the wayside Our ambition cries of frayed ties and shattered lives If you're trying to save me from hell Hope you save some strength for yourself As well If you're trying to save me from hell Hope you save some strength for yourself Could you drive in peripheral vision For the rest of your life (Arrested by night, distracted by might) Could you lie in bed dreaming new conditions While it falls into strife (Arrested by night, distracted by might) And nothing feels right And if I crash off I-95 Don't leave flowers at the scene And if I slide off MD 200 Please build the new bridge for me I've lost everything to the brink Now how will I carry forth I'm a shell of my former self Just begging to be reborn Jump off the bridge, jump off the bridge Say that it's time and I'll jump off the bridge Jump off the bridge, jump off the bridge If only if I could've jumped off the bridge Swallowed by wails of by failures I've earned this Surrounded by your whaling sailors I'll learn it This is my last chance, my last chance to pull through Swimming in my car cause there's nothing left to lose
6.
Lenore 05:18
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Lenore we could burn so bright But Lenore you live in the night You made a pet out of me But one day you may see Sunlight What words are there for me to say What prose to write of my dismay Of you seducing your way to my capitulation I've been deprived, you've been depraved, you have deceived, I have betrayed And bravely this time Isaac's coming in And he's ushering enlightenment Well if you bring me along We'll find some place I belong You'll show me how I was wrong To want this Lenore this war will enslave us all Bolster the sanctuary while she indefinitely breaks down the walls You must have noticed by now Her great ambition risks a greater fall Escape somehow Isaac's getting closer And Death skulks down the halls Lenore come with me Survive and we'll be free We will uninvite All misery I wanted to keep you safe as I've learned the value And the beauty of that which lives longer than I do, Lenore Well if you bring me along We'll find some place I belong You'll show me how I was wrong To want this I thought I would be your charge Luxury pride and envy scars Dreams decaying fast and drifting so far Don't forget I wanted to Stay with you Til you drew my blood How could you put me through Such a lovely flood Carmilla will set this whole land ablaze If I don't get away How did they breach the corridor already I wished that I could stay, but now it's far too late There was no love in that room Your blinds exposed There was no love in that room My cell is closed Well if you bring me along (you'll leave me bleeding on the floor) We'll find some place I belong (and I'll be coming back for more) You'll show me how I was wrong (I cannot help but adore you) To want this (I'm sorry Lenore) I thought I would be your charge (you'll leave me bleeding on the floor) Luxury pride and envy scars (and I'll be coming back for more) Dreams decaying fast and drifting so far (I cannot help but adore you) Don't forget I wanted to (I'm sorry Lenore)
7.
Dream Punk v2 05:00
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I saw you again I was smoking with my former friends They identified all the different strains That I never heard of before When you came into the car You pretended to fight me, then you took me home And you held me, and you told me You love who I have become The most beautiful dream I ever felt Could you play with me once more Will I ever be someone you adore I inscribed these words in stone Cause without you I felt alone I heard your new voice in my dreams You were so handsome You spoke Japanese and you stepped on my toes You said you don't know who you are anymore Cause you can't follow yourself, and so I told you I told you you have to create yourself anew every single day You once taught me how to live Did I teach you how to change I inscribed these words in stone Cause without you I felt alone It's not what you want to see But it's where you're meant to sleep I am still yours
8.
MD 404 (I'm Not From the Future, You're From the Past) 04:17
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We tried to escape without trying Now everyone knows the earth is dying Our coastline is sunken history It used to never snow in D.C. Wanted to take a trip to Miami before it became a lost city And Atlanta acquired beachfront property (New orleans has surely drowned) Rehoboth is a mermaids land 404's buried in murder sand The whole delmarva sunk right under me (The bay bridge has fallen down) I sit in my car when I'm trapped inside The storm threatens to bury me alive If I had a sun roof I might try To find what's abandoned our grey skies Breathe in cold air, exhale life The cost I ignored for all this time Where's the family I had forgotten to cry for There's no one left for me to die for We tried to escape without trying Now everyone knows the earth is dying Our coastline is sunken history It used to never snow in D.C. Don't fuck with me in the driver's seat If this steering wheel moves we'll be the trees It used to never snow in D.C. Now I'm stuck in line at snow bank The richest lied "it doesnt exist" They threw our money in the final ditch The tallest sea wall, the largest raft They need express lanes, avoid the crash When truth comes flooding in take mortality to task The limits at the precipice, the dice long since cast Bail us out with paper cups May the meek float backside up Fortify the levees with our blood Constituency under mud You should've changed it yesterday, tomorrows coming fast I'm not from the future, you're from the past We tried to escape without trying Now everyone knows the earth is dying Our coastline is sunken history It used to never snow in D.C. Don't fuck with me in the driver's seat If this steering wheel moves we'll be the trees It used to never snow in D.C. Now I'm stuck in line at snow bank I was waiting on a collision but I guess it never came (One degree deficit) Only the best equipped ones survive change they say (Two degree deficit) I was waiting on a collision but I guess it never came (Three degree deficit) Only the best equipped ones survive change they say (Four degree deficit) There was nothing more that could be done We didn't want to try anything else There was nothing more that could be done We didn't want to try anything else (There was nothing more that could be done) It's only four degrees, it's only four degrees (We didn't want to try anything else) (There was nothing more that could be done) So tally up the bodies (We didn't want to try anything else) Tally up the bodies

about

Hi. This is the third, and currently final, Formaldehide album. It is to be spoken aloud as: “Swimming in my Car with Good Luck and Bad Decisions”.

This is all I have left for this project. Ever since I started this band in 2015, The Formaldehide has been a primarily solo effort that was meant to be a six piece ensemble. For a long time now, my motivation for this band has been decreasing as I’ve become more interested in collaborative endeavors with others.

In late 2018 I started another band called Laughing at the Void. Then I joined a band called Blk Vapor in 2020. In mid 2021, a conflict occurred which led me to leave both bands, and then the former band broke up entirely a few months later. I lost many loved ones in a very short time, and lost connection with many in my community. Despite finishing and releasing "I Am to Err in a Black Sky & Find Dawn" that fall, I was at a very deep low, and I had strongly considered giving up being a musician altogether, and perceived myself as a failure.

That winter I threw myself more into my former jobs as an Uber Driver and a part time UPS worker. With time I recovered. I met new people and found new community. I polished several of these song’s instrumentals, and planned a two track single for "Swimming In My Car” and “Good Luck, Bad Decisions”. Somewhere along the way my motivation to record vocals bottomed out and these songs sat for awhile.

Life is strange though. In winter 2022/2023 my situation flipped upside down again and music went from being something I could barely do, to one of the best things I could be doing with my time once again. And I had more ideas left on the table than just two songs. I already had vague ideas for a third album but it made sense to consolidate the release. A last minute hail mary is not at all how I originally planned to finish things. But I’ve quickly decided that if I'm ending this project soon, I want to finish it with as much passion as I can find. So for better or worse, 8 tracks.

Thank you for listening to The Formaldehide, a product of my imagination and a 2009 macbook pro. I hope you continue to follow my adventures with my next project, and my new band Eternal Bracelet xChange.

Cheers
Nadja

credits

released March 17, 2023

Songwriting, Performance, and Production on All Tracks: Nadja Wendell Newby Jones
Additional Guitar on track 2: Miles Tag
Track 8 co-written with Shaun McDonald, Maven DeMulder, & Milo Paul
Album art created by: Khadija Jahmila

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The Formaldehide Silver Spring, Maryland

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† 2015 - 2023

All sounds by Nadja Wendell Newby Jones unless listed otherwise.

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