Get all 8 The Formaldehide releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Every Nothing, Swimming In My Car // Good Luck, Bad Decisions, I Am To Err In a Black Sky & Find Dawn, Johnathen Is Among The Beloved Ones, Sorry I Passed Out And Just Woke Up, I Need My Sleeps (she was alive), Mr. Funeral, Err, and The Formaldehide EP.
1. |
I Am
06:48
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I rose out of a bed
In the evening
I don't know who I am
Or what I'm perceiving
Can you tell me where I come from
Do you know where I will go
Is there some kind of greater purpose
That I ought to know
Is there a question I'm looking to answer
Give me a problem I need to solve
I just need something to do here
This dilemma needs to be resolved
And you say
"Child, I have passed my prime. I would like to explain everything but we are short on time."
You say
"Child, this might sound quite bizarre. But I'm afraid you already know who you are."
And then suddenly all these memories come rushing in
Just like a tidal wave inundating my skin
All the people I have ever loved and the ones I pushed away
The ones I supported on their quests and the distressed that I failed to save
I can see their faces so vividly
I can feel them standing next to me
Why am I the one they put their faith in
When I was the one who abandoned them
"Now listen, child, you have more questions than I have answers, and that is a fact. But the time approaches that this tangerine sky will quickly begin to fade to black"
"You must understand that the answers you seek are hidden in plain sight. But you will see them until you turn your wrongs to rights. You must defeat the coming night"
"Now before I fade into eternal oblivion's ethereal light, I must give you a critically important piece of insight"
"To Err is to be Human
To make mistakes is part of being alive
Nobody is here on purpose
And you're no less important than I"
"My child I pray you not worry though your heart may be full of fright. You are my chosen successor to keep dawn’s flame alight. You have a power inside, The Formaldehide. Your benevolence shines in the dead of night. My child. You will be alright"
(Should you accept this task delivered unto your fate, Growth is a burden that reveals an awesome weight)
And in a flash, my predecessor violently flickered away
I had so much more that I wanted to ask, so much more that I wanted to say
And even though I now know who I am, I don't know how I could get through this night
I know my flaws I know my shame I can't hope to get this right
I am the cracked door that refuses to close
I am the slash in your fire hose
I am the candle that you thought would burn so much brighter
I am the broken ignition in your lighter
I am the foundation that could not withstand the hurricane that devastates the land
I am the truth that you found was never enough
After pandemics come to end all the masks fall off
The biggest flaw in your protagonist
The modest cast on your broken wrist
I am the hero that you get when the hero you wanted does not exist
Benevolent but damaged inside
(Should I accept this task to deliver onto my fate)
I am afraid but I will not hide
I am the Formaldehide
(Growth is a burden that reveals an awesome weight)
I am the Formaldehide
They said to Err is to be Human
Making mistakes is part of being alive (Are you sure?)
They said nobody is here on purpose
And you're no less important than I (Am I really?)
They said to Err is to be Human
Making mistakes is part of being alive (I can’t forgive myself)
They said nobody is here on purpose
And you're no less important than I (I think I need some help)
I am the Formaldehide
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2. |
Guillotine
03:29
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Roxas I just don't know if I can do this
Don't know if I can
You treat me like the most valued guest
But I see you as my ideal man
I know you say give us time and that things will be fine
But sometimes I tear at the seams
If you give us a chance for a future romance
I will build us a guillotine
You're too patient for me
You just shouldn't be waiting for me
Cause I'm just not
I'm just not
Who I want to be for you yet
Who I want to be for you yet
And I don't know
When I'll get there
But it'll take too long I bet
It'll take too long I bet
Roxas can you do me a huge favor
And run away from me
I am bad news for you even though I adore you
My love will blow us to smithereens
I thought I outgrew my issues but here come the tissues
Ignore me while I fall apart
If we kill our time before it starts
We won't waste our lives slow dancing in the dark
And who knows what may comes the next day
And when will be the next time that I go astray
Cause I'm just not
I'm just not
Who I want to be for you yet
Who I want to be for you yet
And I don't know
When I'll get there
But it'll take too long I bet
It'll take too long I bet
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3. |
JTKAB
02:36
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(Yeah, ok)
I’m a Fuckboy, I’m a fucking prick. I could not be asked to write none of this shit
I’m a Fuckboy, I’m a fucking prick. I could not be asked to write none of this shit
What am I supposed to give you, what am I supposed to lose
What am I to expect to regress or improve
To swallow my failings, to carry ahead
(Yours is the only version of my desertion)
I’ll write it all down when I get out of bed
(That I could ever subscribe to, that is all that I can do)
Is this going to mean a thing to you?
Should I care about anything I do?
(You are a past dinner, the last winner)
Do you want me to like I want you to want me to want us? I haven’t a clue
(I’m raking all around me, til the last drop is behind you)
Shut him up, silence his noise, get swallowed in the void
Julia Tallon Kills All Boys
Shut him up, silence his noise, get swallowed in the void
Julia Tallon Kills All Boys
Gender gender gender gender
Endeavor endeavor endeavor endeavor
Can I make a statement that meant what I stated
Resentment belated. Resentment belated. Resentment belated.
Intense. In tents. Pastimes in past tense.
The crimes an absence growing like an abscess.
I ain't sayin nothin. I ain't sayin nothin.
Complain to your cousin 'bout your lunatic husbands.
Will you show me the right way to become a man?
Show me the right way to become a man?
If it's violent and sexy, I might understand
It's violent and sexy, as they all demand
Bring me a trans liberation
Give me non-binary patience
Bring me a trans liberation
Give me non-binary patience
Bring me a trans liberation
Give me non-binary patience
Bring me a trans liberation
Give me non-binary patience
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4. |
Secret Two
05:11
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I wanted you to stay with me
But it was far too long a wait
Well I wanted you to change for me
In that way we were the same
The metamorphosis is completed
Leave all that we were in disarray
Lift the weight from your shoulders
Cause it’s not a secret anymore
You’ll never be harmed again, I vow
For you were the one that I had adored
The weight I’ve put on suits me nicely
My old box made of suggestion drags on the floor
Your influence helped shape who I am today
Because of you, I have become more
Lift the weight from your shoulders
Cause it’s not a secret anymore
Reversing time is disallowed
Now we adorn the growth from what came before
You were my most tumultuous season
Our separation forecasted the first day
Would you say our meeting happened for a reason
Was there any path to travel that would have allowed us to stay x2
Lift the weight from your shoulders
Cause it’s not a secret anymore
Return the script and take a bow
Its about time for this performance to be over
Lift the weight from your shoulders
Cause it’s not a secret anymore
You’ll never be harmed again, I vow
For you were the one that I had adored
I wanted you to stay with me
But it was far too long a wait
And Now
Vibe it out
Just Go
Without doubt
I’ll see you in my dreams
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5. |
Mr. Funeral
04:47
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Mr. Funeral's arrived
To take you home
But he doesn't know
Where he's buried me
They should've told you the heart is a stranger
And the masculine is its cave
Had I known you were in danger
Maybe I could have found a new way to be
I have had preoccupations
Ambitions that lead me far away
Studying new forms of learning behaviors
And yearning in places where I will stay obscene
When did entitlement elope with me
Everything I set my eyes on suddenly is corrupted by my greed
I hate you sir, I hate you
You rob the joy from everyone I see
So cowardly
Don't ask when the last atrocity was
I banish you when you misbehave
A broken clock is right twice a day
But without repair
I'll be wrong for the rest of the year anyway
I can't live this life much longer
(I just can't keep this up)
As the violence in me still thrives
(It makes me want to die)
If I cannot stop Mr. Funeral
(I can't hold this stuff)
Then I will not survive
They should've told you the mind is a monster
And the feminine is its palace
If only I could be honest like her
Maybe she could show me
How to depose the malice
Power is wasted in my hands
Try to resist abuse to no avail
I used to think I was imprisoned
But all along I was the jail
Compromised by avarice
I can't live this life much longer
(I just can't keep this up)
As the violence in me still thrives
(It makes me want to die)
If I cannot stop Mr. Funeral
(I can't hold this stuff)
Then I will not survive
I'm responsible recovering from my own sin
I cannot be your possessive patriarchal whim
I am culpable and fighting all from deep within
I was buried alive, I was buried alive
I can't live this life much longer
(Nobody told you what it was, nobody told you who it was)
As the violence in me still thrives
(Nobody told you how it was, how it was)
If I cannot stop Mr. Funeral
(So hasten my stride, I'm not a waste in your mind)
Then I will not survive
Pull me out in time, pull me out in time, pull me out in time
Pull me out
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6. |
Sorry I Passed Out
04:07
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She was alive,
She was loved, she was alive.
It's not right, she was alive
Help me dye my hair, cause she was alive
She was alive, alive
Hold on my friend you weren't supposed to leave yet
Cause you had so much more to live for
And so much to give, an absence of forgiveness
From those of us that you had adored
And how could I expect to outlive you
Even if you didn't make it to twenty-two
What the hell are we supposed to do
(What the hell am I supposed to do / You did whatever you wanted to)
Of all my old sins that you forgave
You helped me believe I was worthy of being saved
But then I paved a distance from your new path
Creating space and time to lose track
The wicked traps placed, illness you succumb
I wished to document how far we had come
Wasted Saturday night. in the morning you're gone
Now I'm required to sing this song
(There's not enough Narcan left inside. I will pay for leaving you behind)
I should've found you in the night
I had no idea where you were when you lost your life
These words should not exist
You are dearly missed
Antonia
You are dearly missed
The one who forgave my transgressions
Who rebuked me from deep within
(There's not enough Narcan left inside)
Who gave me a chance to grow has departed
(I will pay for leaving you behind)
The casual smirk and deceptive grin
The unrequited assurance
(Beautiful perfect scum of your design)
That began the change of everything I know
(A family of idiots must survive)
Restarted
She was alive
She was loved, she was alive
I'm not fine. She was alive
You should reconcile cause she was alive
She was alive, alive
So what will I do with this pain of mine
Confusion overwhelming inside
I could've sworn all my friends were forbidden from dying
Forbidden
Forbidden
Seeing your name on street signs fills me with anguish
Speaking your fate aloud feels like hearing a lie
(This cant be true, this can't be true)
This is impossible, improbable in our timeline
Some nights after you died
I reached over ninety-thousand miles in my car
And I didn't even notice
I couldn't cause I was too busy
driving slowly around the suburbs that we both grew up in
And screaming in disbelief
(Reveal those positive angel minutes)
Did all that make-up hide your pain inside
(And we'll revel in those positive angel minutes to the end)
Shelter us all from the burden you resolved to bear alone
(Reveal those positive angel minutes)
Did all that make-up hide your pain inside
(And we'll revel in those positive angel minutes to the end)
We all admired what was on the surface, concealer sealing away the unknown
The one who forgave my transgressions
Who rebuked me from deep within
(There's not enough Narcan left inside)
Who gave me a chance to grow has departed
(I will pay for leaving you behind)
The casual smirk and deceptive grin
The unrequited assurance
(Beautiful perfect scum of your design)
That began the change of everything I know
(A family of idiots must survive)
Has restarted
Cause she was alive
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7. |
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Baltimore spat me out, I belong to DMV again
I knew that you would be there waiting for me my friend
You had become the best thing I always knew I had
But I thought that we had more time
I wasn’t ready to say goodbye
I can still hear you squeaking and purring, and knocking things over to the side
See you hiding under the furniture, and playing until you’re satisfied. Mastering your limited environment
Love between one another can be fleeting at times. It can be misplaced or run dry. But somehow, love itself, the divine circumstance that ties us all together, never dies
In my heart, your spirit lives on. And in my mind, and in my house, there are memories of you everywhere.
I was holding you in the basement a few days before our loss
(And that’s when I noticed you were sick)
You accompanied us for so long, losing you was a frightening thought
(We had to find you medical attention quick)
We always fed you, cleaned your spaces
Watched you hide and run off places
Precious boy who calmed our fires. You were my brother’s first born son.
Johnathen, you are among the beloved ones
I hope you felt that we tried our best
You can finally close your eyes now
And be free of fear and stress
Johnathen is among the beloved ones
He’s just resting
We’ll meet again at the end of rainbow bridge
(In our arms again)
How could I ever be depressed
Oh respiratory reaper how could you take him away from us
The veterinarians must of been kind to you, I think you were one of their favorites Jonathan Jones
I’d like to believe you were well treated
That they had shown you the best of care, and reassured you that you were beloved
Tried to nurse you back to health and never gave up
I know that they wanted to save you
They signed onto the mission to keep you, but instead they were left with the task to carry your consciousness across
When I drove you to the hospital
I didn’t realize
(Your state would be difficult to mend)
That it would be the very last time
(We we’re approaching the end)
Could it be the very last time?
(Don’t go!)
You were lethargic, sneezing, hurting and constipated
Diagnosis showed signs you would not make it
I should have waited by your side
I should have waited to say goodbye
Johnathen, you are among the beloved ones
We surely know that you tried your best
We’ve been separated for some time, yet tonight, you are secure in my chest
Johnathen is among the beloved ones
He’s just resting
We’ll meet again at the end of rainbow bridge
(in our arms once again)
How could I ever be depressed
Johnathen
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8. |
Patch 24.0.0 (HAUNTED)
04:48
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You haunt me
But you’re still alive
(As far as I know)
The dust all cleared and you reappeared (unwelcome) in my head
I’d rather be sleepless (as if I could sleep like this)
Than have these recurring dreams (dreadful)
Past adversaries, people I don’t see
Visiting my bed (ghosts shitting in my bed)
And I have to remind myself when I see you at night
It’s not you, it was never you
You’re a stranger but the silhouette in view is a revision in two. if you were see through
And I was improved
Patch Twenty-Four new and improved
Just like that we were just vibing
Just like that we were just fine
Did reality turn complicated poor subconscious mind?
Sorry to say it’s misplaced
My id consoled by ego
My heart can’t be reserved for someone I’m not sure I got to know
And I have to remind myself when I see you at night
It’s not you, it was never you
You’re a stranger but the silhouette in view is a revision in two. if you were see through
And I was improved
And I’m fine now
But let’s pretend that I’m not, let’s pretend that I’m not
And I’m fine now
But let’s pretend that I’m not, let’s pretend that I’m not
Sound of clapping hands
I don’t like the sound of clapping hands
Sound of clapping hands
Clapping hands
What the fuck was I on about
All those years ago
Who the fuck was that person
That I called one of my own
(Don’t know)
I’m bigger and better now
And I don’t have the time
To consider visions of people
That were never mine
My capacity to love others has no need for proof
And I have no need for digital approval to improve
Yo what if nothing I’ve done matters? What if I never grew?
Nigga, what if I wasted my time waiting for someone like you?
And I have to remind myself when I see you at night
It’s not you, it was never you
You’re a stranger but the silhouette in view is a revision in two. if you were see through
And I was improved
The past is all red now
The future is green
I’m knocking my words back in 2016
(Patch Twenty-Four new and improved)
The past is all red now
The future is green
I’m knocking my words back in 2016
(Patch Twenty-Four new and improved)
And I was improved!
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9. |
In a Black Sky
07:22
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(Damn this is actually happening)
With all these futures in contest
I’ve gotta pick one and forget the rest
I’m gonna take the quest, gonna break the past, gonna bring my best or I’m done man
When it’s too much ferry me from distress, can’t handle this domestic unrest
I’m gonna take the quest, gonna break the past, gonna fight for a better outcome
And with all our futures in contest
We’ve gotta make one that’s better than the rest
I’m gonna take the quest, gonna break the past, gonna bring my best or I’m done man
So our successors don’t forget to impress
We reverse the curse and remember we’re blessed
I’m gonna take the quest, gonna break the past, so run and tell the future we love them
Time
To clean
Up this mess
To err in a black sky and find dawn
To err in a black sky and find dawn
I’ve got something to tell you
You won’t be surprised
Done yearning for days ‘I’m alright’ and ‘I’m good’
Were not go-to lies
Gather your resources
And reject capital Pride
There is a war just waiting on the other side of the door
You’re not getting any sleep tonight
Disease deniers are out
We are plagued by their lies
(We are plague paralyzed)
Truths of woe we know confront the unknown,
discontent unsubscribes
America,
would you learn to love black lives in black skies?
How you steal black idea
But black signs will not stop black suicides
The battle lines are drawn
The opposition has just played its hand
I won’t be your pawn
My tactician’s mapped out a great plan
Heroes have arrived
To help kill the evils in your head
You won’t do this alone
Time
To clean
Up this mess
To err in a black sky and find dawn
To err in a black sky and find dawn
How did it feel to murder someone?
Hold him struggling under your knee
Or string him ‘pon a tree by Kennedy
How did it feel to watch him run
Ignore the pleas that they can’t breathe
A bullet in her sleep is killing me
(Easy as one two three)
Your reckoning bomb has arrived
(Would not let us compete)
We’re just returning the favor vilified
(You want us incomplete)
Don’t pretend like it was the first time
(Do you like what you see)
This unchecked hatred still survives
And it thrives and it thrives right in the back of your minds
Like black lies and it rides sanctions to sever our spines
The battle lines are drawn
The opposition has just played its hand
I won’t be your pawn
My tacticians have mapped out a great plan
The heroes have arrived
To help you quell the evil in your head
You won’t do this alone
You won’t do this alone
This is all for my past self who was lost
looking for the new world
that I could live in
(not just pass the time) as I am
I was the gift passed around, afraid
there would be no change
After all the pain had passed
I’ve become the hope we will overcome
Cus we won’t know
Until we’re there
Cus we won’t know
Until we’re there
Will our future pass the test
Or is it under arrest
I’m gonna take the quest, gonna break the past, gonna do my best to keep promise
When they try to take your breath
Scream it loud out of your chest
I’m gonna take the quest, gonna break the past, so we can have a future to love in
(Teeth are rattling in distress
Heart is beating out my chest
I’ve gone and made a mess, I’ve gone and made a mess, I’ve gone and made a mess, I have gone and-)
Nothing will ever stay the same
Our pain and sorrow won’t silence us this time
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10. |
The Dreadgaze
01:17
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(Instrumental)
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11. |
Err I: To Err
05:36
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You used to make me feel so incompetent
Like anything I did was never enough
But now that I've had some time away from you
I know now that that was just your bluff
And you made me feel like my thoughts didn't matter
But I am so much more than you'll ever know
I will make your expectations shatter
And I will exponentially grow
And I forgive you
It's all in the past now
I forgive you
We've got to move past somehow
Let’s leave this place together
We’ve a new headspace to live in forever
Let’s leave this place together
We’ve a new headspace to live in forever
Let’s leave this place and never
Return to this graceless endeavor
Let’s leave this place together.
Together. Forever.
To Err is to be human
Making mistakes is part of being alive
Nobody is here on purpose
And you're no less important than I
And for too long you’ve shouldered our spite
So let’s try to keep our burdens light
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12. |
Err II:& Find Dawn
05:41
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Make careful use of your time
We are leaving this place behind
You are absolved
Steel your resolve
It’s time to move on
Wake up
(I thought I told you to wake up)
And we’ll kill despair tonight
And dawn is what we will find
Sky lift us up with all your might
Sea rise again for the next fight
And resolve the spirits of the undermined
Restore the hearts of the vilified
Resolve the spirits of the undermined
Restore the hearts of the vilified
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13. |
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I’ve tried and tried to wrap my mind around it this time
But there’s no answers to find
It’s up to you to decide
Here is where we are
These are the streets that we call home
And there we will go
Across what you have known
Let me be your everything
And I will bring you nothing
We’ll be standing together on these sidewalks
For roads that are not safe to cross
There are nails on every driveway
And spikes on every tree
A wall between the highway
Will make sure you never leave
White picket fence decorations
And careful coordination
Help us imagine all jubilation for
My suburban decay admiration
Don’t die (don’t die)
The rain will heal our wounds (The rain will heal our wounds)
You’re not as alone (You’re not as alone)
as it seems (as it seems)
Let’s go somewhere we’ve never been
Shopping malls on mountain tops with your only friends
Escalator down to the valley
Where everyone that you love will leave you
There’s no danger to inquire
Only cell phones (self harm) to inspire
Isolation from all that could bring you down
Only substances take you higher
Don’t let the overgrown
Vines and bushes smother you
Over time the paths you grew up with
Could become unrecognisable
From how it was before
Do you remember anymore
How it was before the overpass was built
(Oh well as you can see)
There are nails on every driveway
And spikes on every tree
A wall between the highway
Will make sure you never leave
White picket fence decorations
And careful coordination
Help us imagine all jubilation for
My suburban decay admiration
Don’t die (don’t let the overgrown)
The rain will heal our wounds (Vines and bushes smother you)
You’re not as alone as it seems (Over time the paths you grew up walking
Could become unrecognisable)
Forgive me in the morning, then we will find our way down (To how they were before, do you remember anymore)
You’re not as alone as it seems (How it was before the overpass was built)
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The Formaldehide Silver Spring, Maryland
Play this loud.
† 2015 - 2023
All sounds by Nadja Wendell Newby Jones unless listed otherwise.
The Formaldehide recommends:
Deathconsciousness
by Have a Nice Life
This is very important to me.
go to album
The best post-hardcore/emo/metal or whatever album of 2018 is right here.
go to album
Pay Attention To Meeee
by Boy Jr.
A good friend that makes great music.
go to albumIf you like The Formaldehide, you may also like:
Ataraxy
by Sadness / To Be Gentle
Atmospheric black metal band Sadness and experimental screamo band To Be Gentle channel intense emotions on this split single.
go to album
Toronto band Respire deliver a post-hardcore tour de force on the largest scale possible, orchestrally rich and incessantly uncompromising.
go to album
Terrific, marauding post-punk that will thrill fans of Idles with its pairing of cutting riffs and wry spoken/sung lyrics.
go to album
